Friday December 3, 2010 5:48 pm
Written by Randy Vance
Moving from one house to another is seldom easy and fun for adults and it can be especially troubling for the children. But if parents deal with their children's concerns and needs thoughtfully, much of that distress and discomfort can be avoided.
How Children See Moves
Children see moves differently than their parent's do, and they benefit much less from the change in their comfortable routines, or so it seems at the time. Most often, a change in houses or communities heralds an important step forward for the adult members of the family. The family moves because Daddy or Mommy has a great new job or a promotion in reward for years of hard work. They move because financial success has allowed the purchase of a bigger and nicer house in a more costly neighborhood. They move because they can finally afford private bedrooms for each child and perhaps a pool in the back yard. In the 1990's, mobile and hard striving people typically lived in a house for about four years and then move on as their careers or fortunes allow.
That short time span is only a small percentage of the life-to-date for a 30 or 40 year old, but the same four years is half the lifetime of an 8 year old, and it includes almost all the years he or she can remember. To a parent, this house may be only the place they have lived recently. They think of it as a way station on the road of life. To kids, however, it may be the only home they have ever really known. This is their house, the place they feel safe and comfortable and thoroughly at home. A house is much more than a roof and walls to a child. It is the center of his or her world. A move threatens to take that sphere away and leave something totally strange in its place.
The familiar friends, schools, shops and theaters, the streets, trees and parks - all will no longer exist for them. Everything soon will be strange, and they will live in someone else's world. The impact of a move on a typical child starts about the time he or she first hears that Daddy has accepted a promotion, and often continues for about a year, until the new house becomes home, and memories of the previous place fade.